Assembly was my cue to leave. Dissemble. Time to disengage the crowd. I go the other way. Time to poke around the campus like it’s MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME and go through desk drawers to find out which of my teachers are drunks to blackmail them for hall passes. -BJG
PS: Mulaney listened to the Bittenbinders of the world telling him how children get killed so he was constantly afraid he would be murdered all the time throughout his childhood. I heard that shit too but I always assumed it would happen to someone like John instead of me so I figured I was fine. There’s no way I’m as big a victim as him, so we’re good. All the other children will be murdered first and then that’s my cue to be afraid. “At least I’ll be murdered last,” I thought.
PPS: The ability of “NYC” “comic” “from New Orleans” Mark Normand to incessantly walk through life day after day pretending immensely anyone cares about him is inspiring. That he sincerely thinks he matters and usually a lot to any human being he has ever or will ever interact with is astounding but there it is! Keep fakin’ it, kids, and maybe we can keep him from painting the ceiling without taking anybody else with him.
Finally, I just need to say I'm sorry that Vanessa Bayer, formerly of SNL, apparently had some sort of accident during childhood resulting in her face being permanently fixed in the expression “DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?” No, you don't, but you always look like you think you do. Which is great for comedy. You can currently catch Vanessa at the latest depressing gathering of fans of the comic strip Cathy. Ack.