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if you are pregnant, are planning to become pregnant, can potentially become pregnant, can potentially impregnate, have been diagnosed with infertility, are breast-feeding, or are not pregnant
if you are consuming any prescription or nonprescription medicine, herbal preparation, dietary supplement, animal or vegetable product, processed “food,” liquid, solid, gas, or other substance
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SOME MEDICINES MAY INTERACT.

Tell your health care provider if you are taking any other medicines, especially any of the following:

Any/All.

In event of zombie apocalypse, the uninfected should refrain from traveling to the offices of health care providers, or to hospitals, as these are likely to become significant threat vectors. Take two ibuprofen and call the doctor in the morning, if there is a doctor left to call, and if there is a morning at all. Why the fuck aren’t we done with zombies yet? Shit’s boring, y’all. We get it. Romero and stuff. Nerds.

Beware the Ides of March.

Follow The White Rabbit.

Become The Hornless Unicorn.

Today’s Forecast Calls For Quantum Showers.

It Has Always Been Today.

That will be all for now.

Oh, wait, PS: By entering this WEBSITE, you hereby grant the WEBSITE OPERATOR non-transferable eternal ownership of your SOUL.

That should cover just about everything.*

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Ask Your Doctor If Whatever Drug You Just Saw Advertised Is Right For You!

I bet it is.

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FOR BILL HADER AND JOHN MULANEY: JEFON'S LATEST HOTTEST CLUB ALERT

December 20, 2023

New Orleans hottest club is GYNOSORE. This club for naughty olds has it all. 17 different Jinkerbells (those are Jewish Tinkerbells). They all wear yarmulkes like boys but are they? You might find out at GYNOSORE. Featuring: Warring factions of midgets with six packs reenacting the Civil War dressed as the kids from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. A fabulous chinchilla burlesque Queen who has undergone facial reconstruction to resemble the Mona Lisa. Human pudding (Don’t ask me to explain it. It’s not what you think it is. Or maybe it is). Asian doctors in go-go boots wearing Zorro masks and Mickey Mouse ears dancing the can-can featuring Ken Jeong! Heavyset mermaid junkies snorkeling in a gravy pool. And a transgender giraffe who used to go by Geoffrey! All at New Orleans’ hottest NEW CLUB! GYNOSORE! —“COUSIN” JEFON.